Oct. 27 2011 My Friends

I look at my friends in a way that not all people can understand, I look and the girls I am friends with and my thoughts go directly to wondering what it would be like to be wrapped in their arms to feel the love and caring feeling, as well as the lusting feelings that come along with it, unfortunately, when I get those feeling they thrive in me and I want them more and more and more. When I look at my Male Friends I get similar feelings and to me I want the feel of a strong mans arms around me holding me. Some might say I'm Bi, but I dont think so I love Girls in every way shape and or form. I'm engaged to a beautiful girl, who I want more than anything to be with. but even when I'm with her I want more. I want to be held. I am a rather big man  and Im not that masculine, I watch chick flicks and Cry, I cry about alot of things I love and care for my friends and I cherish every one of them and at times I feel I love my male friends more and I want more than anything to be accepted for how I feel though if I ever show it most of them look at me like im a creep.